1 - Law of
Cat Inertia A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless
acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food,
or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2 - Law of
Cat Motion A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is
a really good reason to change direction.
3 - Law of
Cat Magnetism All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat
hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4 - Law of
Cat Thermodynamics Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body,
except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5 - Law of
Cat Stretching A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to
the length of the nap just taken.
6 - Law of
Cat Sleeping All cats must sleep with people whenever possible,
in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible
for the cat.
7 - Law of
Cat Elongation A cat can make her body long enough to reach just
about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8 - Law of
Cat Acceleration A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until
he gets good and ready to stop.
9 - Law of
Dinner Table Attendance Cats must attend all meals when anything
good is served.
10 - Law of
Rug Configuration No rug may remain in its naturally flat state
for very long.
11 - Law of
Obedience Resistance A cat's resistance varies in proportion to
a human's desire for her to do something.
12 - First
Law of Energy Conservation Cats know that energy can neither be
created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as
possible.
13 - Second Law
of Energy Conservation Cats also know that energy can only be stored
by a lot of napping.
14 - Law of
Refrigerator Observation If a cat watches a refrigerator long
enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
15 - Law of
Electric Blanket Attraction Turn on an electric blanket and a
cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
16 - Law of
Random Comfort Seeking A cat will always seek, and usually take
over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
17 - Law of
Bag / Box Occupancy All bags and boxes in a given room must contain
a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
18 - Law of
Cat Embarrassment A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion
to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
19 - Law of
Milk Consumption A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared,
just to show you he can.
20 - Law of
Furniture Replacement A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly
proportional to the cost of the furniture.
21 - Law of
Cat Landing A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
22 - Law of
Fluid Displacement A cat immersed in milk will displace her own
volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
23 - Law of
Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion
to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
24 - Law of
Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy
to reach escape velocity.
25 - Law of
Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It
Doesn't Matter.
